Dear Belly,

With some regret, I must inform you that your services are no longer required.

You will be surgically removed on the 15th of August 2006. If you should require a letter of recommendation, I will be happy to supply one.

You have been a valuable member of the team and you will be missed.

Best wishes for the future,
The Body.

Hair, and waxing, and pain, oh my! Part 2

Waxing went very well. I did feel a wee bit exposed, I had my g string on, but she still got a good eye full of my vagina.

Standing in front of the mirror after the wax... My vagina looks sad. Like it's frowning. Maybe it looked like this before, but was hidden under a forrest.

I wonder what it is sad about? Poor thing. Should I get it some prozac or something?

Hair, and waxing, and pain, oh my!

I am off to the esthetician (chick who waxes twats, ass cracks, smelly pitts, legs and so on) tomorrow.

This should be interesting. I have not had a wax in quite a few years. I do hope the esthetician is not too grossed out by my sagging legs, muff, and ass.

I am only days away from my period, so this may prove to be most painful.



I have made up my mind, that when I take my "before" picture for my tummy tuck I am going to write "Goodbye cruel world" on my belly in lipstick, LMAO.

Musings of a mad woman

Am I going to be happy with my body once I have this surgery?

Or am I going to find something else to hate on? Like my saggy tits? My flabby ass? Chunky thighs?

Or am I going to be so in love with my flat tummy that I will over look my other faults?

Time will tell I guess.

Goals

Going over my blog, I found this list of goals.

#1 Being able to sit with my legs crossed DONE
#2 Walking, not waddleing DONE
#3 Being able to shop in the regular clothes department, no the Plus Size. DONE
#4 Not being looked at when I eat in public DONE
#5 Wearing a swimsuit, and taking my son swimming It's winter now, but I am planning a beach holiday this year!
#6 Feeling full when I eat. DONE
#7 Wearing a smaller cup bra (I can wish!)Went from a 28 HHH to a 8 FF DONE!
#8 Being under a size 18 again DONE
#9 Being "cured" of my diabeties DONE
#10 Being thin again DONE? I am sure to my size 28 self, a 10 is skinny, LMAO

WooHooo

23 days to go people. Only 23 sleeps to go.

When will people learn?

Reading a lap band message board, a chick was advised to count calories to see what she was taking in, and why she was not losing weight.

Another chick posts (I am paraphrasing here) "Counting calories is too much like dieting"

Ya think?

Look. I am all for the "no diet, diet" with the lapband. I do not diet as such, I just watch what I eat, and make better choices. I am setting myself up for a better lifestyle.

But, these chicks (and guys) who refuse to change their diet post banding are setting themselves up for failure. They are setting themselves up for slow, and little weight loss. They are setting themselves up for regain in the event that the band is removed.

I may not be beautiful, but I will be thin(er) for the rest of my life dammit. And if people think I am "dieting", so be it.

If it's not one thing

Its another.


Ok, 2 things to start with.


1. I am at my goal weight. 65kg.
2. I am having my abdomionoplasty on the 15th of August (27 days from now)

Ok, I may, or may not change my goal weight, depending on the outcome of the tummy tuck. If I am supah duper thrilled with my new belly, and think fuck it, I will forget about pushing the finish line back (I do that to keep the race happening).

So that weight crap remains to be seen. For the moment, at least, I am at goal weight.

So, now for the other thing.

I think I realised that I will never be beautiful. Quirky looking, sure. Interesting, yeah, I'll buy that. But losing all the weight in the world has not made me beautiful.

Fucker.

My sanity, such as it is

Today was a good day.

My sanity, such as it is, is intact.

I should point out that we are at the tail end of a 2 week school holiday. I have had J 24 hours a day, for the last 13 days. I love him to death, but the never ending "Mum, come and watch me play The Simpsons" or when we play Scrabble, him pointing out, like the little prude he is that fart, ass and poo are not nice words.

Wait till he gets a bit older.... The big guns will come out! Fuck, shit, and all the other swear words I can think of will come out.

I hate scrabble. I really do. When playing with D and J, words like beaver, mound, flaps, tuna, willy, flap, all have me in convusions of laughter. Yes, I am that juvenile. Sue me. This is the shit that keeps it interesting.

So yes. Today was a good day. I got a 90 minute walk in. Fuck me that was awesome. I felt so alive, sweaty, tingly... If only D was around for a fuck after that. That could have been the only thing that could have made it better. I ended up doing 300 odd sit ups, and 150 ish push ups.

The best part?

No "Mum, can I have a drink?" or "Mum, my legs hurt, I wanna go hooommmeee...." (this is usually said 2 minutes after we leave the house, and repeated every two minutes till we are finished, or I say fuck it, and give up)
And while I was doing the push ups, no "Mum, how long are you going to be?" No, "Mum, your belly looks like the skin of the pork roast we had last week" (while I admit this is sadly, very true, I hardly need it pointed out, mid sit up, by an annoying 9 year old) No "Muuummmm.... I'm BORED"


That said, I have missed him. Why?


























I don't know either. I think this is what being a Mum, and loving your kids is all about.

Interested in some slightly streched, used skin?

Yes?

Then I am your girl! I have (at a guess) 3 or 4 kg to spare. But the Plastic surgeon I see Thursday will let me know for sure. Yes that is right, I am going to see a PS. I am so desperate to have this useless, flopping, sagging, wobbling piece of flesh removed, I am getting a second opinion on it (he might tell me its cute! What do I know, LMAO)

This guy is charging $2000 less than my banding Doc, so I am pretty open about what he has to say. This should be interesting.

I am only 2kg from my goal of 65kg. Scary shit. Will I bump the goal back again, like I did last time? I don't think so. I am looking pretty skinny these days, and getting into a size 10, despite my flabby gut (I was doing push ups in front of the mirror the other night, and thought just how much my hanging belly looks like a vagina... How odd) So I don't know where I will be once I have vaginabelly sliced off. An 8? Fuck.

Something someone (who shall go nameless) said the other day both pissed me off, and gave me food for thought. Mrs Nameless said, "If you lose too much more, you will end up looking like your mother"

Now, for anyone else, this would not be such a bad thing. But my mother looks like a heroin addict. She is so skinny, you can see her bones through her clothes. It makes me sick to even think about it. I have quite a way to go before I am ever that thin (my mother would weigh, like 50-55kg on a good day) but far out! Am I close to looking like that? I hope to fuck not.