((Sigh))

Ever get to the point in a project where you just wanna cry, and give up?

Yeah. That's where I am.

I spent 4 hours painting, and this is all I have done.




I am only, maybe, half way done.


Oh, and the sadistic prick who invented lattice needs a swift kick in the balls.

Not doing that again in a hurry!

A couple of months ago, I decided that I needed a navy blue backdrop for my photography.

So I brought some calico, and some dye, and I put it on the "to do" pile.

I finally got around to dying the fabric today. Oh. My.

Never, ever again will I go through that to save a few bucks. I am just going to buy the fabric in the required colour from now on. Don't get me wrong, it looks fab, and I can't wait to use it, but the hassle!! Not to mention the blue hands (despite gloves) and blue feet!

Now I just have to wait for my star filter to come ($50+ in photographic stores, $14 on eBay, for how often I will use it, I went with the cheap eBay option), and I am all set for Christmas photos!!

I think I have been banned

From Lapband Talk.

I cant get on. Isn't that interesting?

Edit; So, apparently I wasn't the only one! And LBT is back up from what I can only assume was a crash.

I do have to wonder

What I am saying or doing to give people the impression that skinny = good.

I would honestly like to know if I am giving off some "vibe" that gives people the impression that I judging them. I am not. Honestly. Be what you want to be, and be happy with it.

All I ask for is that in return for me not passing judgement on you, that you do the same for me (as a Christian, I believe in the whole Let he who is without sin cast the first stone thing, so I try really, really hard in my daily life NOT to judge, and weight is no exception to that)

So, If I don't say.. For instance (this is what I am being accused of) that "You are selling yourself short by not trying to weigh 32lbs, and be a size -000"

You (general you) don't say "107lbs / size 0 to 2 is sickly, and scrawny, and I would never want to weight that little"

Because as much as overweight people don't like being called fat, I don't like being called skinny, and having my habits called into question.

Mmmkay?

Um, how red was I?

MIL and I were buying coffee to take home to DH after his trip to the dentist (that even with private cover that covered well over 3/4th of the cost still cost us just under $500.. I almost DIED)

Anyway, we are waiting on the coffee, and this old guy walks past MIL and I who are standing near the coffee machine, waiting for the barista to be done making our coffee, he says good afternoon to MIL and he engages her in some small talk that I kind of tuned out till I heard this;

MIL; It's hot, isn't it?

Old Guy; I wasn't thinking about the heat till I walked past her (pointing to me) She's HOT. You have a very beautiful daughter.

MIL, ever the trooper, says, "yes, I do, thank you! My son is very lucky to be married to her"

We took our coffee (the barista had awesome timing) and left.

I had no freaking idea what to say. Thank God for MIL. She protected me from the old pervert!

Brave

Being brave is not being unafraid of doing something. It's being afraid, but taking a deep breath, and doing it anyway.

My wonderful husband showed me this today. My brave husband.

Is this a good idea?

I am just so sick of Windoze, that I am giving Linux a try.

I am going to install it on the half dead laptop, so it won't matter if I screw anything up.

What I *really* want is an iMac. I am still a little gun shy after last years debacle, but I am willing to forgive and forget if all goes well when I order this time.... And I think I will wait till the new OS is out next month (I think it comes out next month?)

But for the mean time... Ubuntu it is. For the crappy laptop. Just so I can compare Windoze to Linux.

I fixed it!!

Nudie before & after

So there they are. Me in all my glory. Oh, yeah, if you are offended by tities, or obesity, don't click the link. I hate that I have to be so PC about shit. Dammit. Oh, and read the disclaimer to the right. Thanks.

Dear Teena

Regarding your comment;

Teena has left a new comment on your post "What the fuck?":

I am SO jealous of you. Your not UGLY. I have a band, and I am getting it taken out this weekend. :( I just can't tolerate it. ALTHOUGH I do have to say something. It is a DARN SHAME, that someone like yourself, went from being GROSS and FAT to BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY, and has a mouth as nasty as yours!!! The language you speak it NOT pretty, its UGLY!!! My email address is sonnyzbrat@aol.com

It's not actually my mouth that is nasty, so much as my fingers, given I type with my fingers, and not my mouth. I am not too sure how one would type with their mouth. If you know how this is achieved, please do let me know.

And I am so very sorry that your experience has left you so bitter that you must refer to me as "gross, and fat" as someone who I can only assume is overweight herself, you should know better than to call names. Glass houses and all that jazz.

Love Sam.

Happy Birthday dear niece!

We went along to my niece's 7th birthday party yesterday.

The Birthday girl


With DS


Please note the clever use of toes as a lolly pop holder


More of the Birthday Gril




And a couple of nights ago, DS and I were mucking around with out cameras while DH was picking up a bus (we have to amuse ourselves somehow!)






Yes.. DS is wearing the same shirt in both photos. It is his favourite (it says "Cheer up, emo kid", sarcastic little fucker loves it I have had to wash it nightly so he could wear it every day over the long weekend).

All I want for Christmas is...

An Opera subscription.

It's in my BLOOD! I am so in love with the feeling of the theatre.

This year The Barber of Seville, The Magic Flute and Turandot will all be on at the Queensland Performing Arts Centre, and I wanna go (stamps foot, pouts and folds arms under breasts... Hoping that this will attract DH's attention to said boobies, and he will cave in, and buy me the expensive box seats I want)

I am taking MIL to see the Nutcracker for Christmas (performed by the Queensland Ballet company) And we are going to take Jr to see Les Ballets Grandiva - Men in Tutus on the 31st (if I can still get tickets at this late date) So it's not like I am totally without culture if I don't get my opera subscription... But I want it! I need it!!

So? What do you all want for Christmas?

And what are your charitable acts this year?

I have in the works Operation Christmas Child
and we always do the Target wishing tree (DS picks out a boy toy, and a girl toy for a child of his age group, and we do baby clothes in both boy and girl, and nappies) and we will all (hopefully DH too this year) will be working in the kitchen at the church's Christmas Eve dinner for the homeless and lonely.

All that said... Is it too early to put the tree up? I have some fab new decorations for the tree this year (gold ribbons and sleigh bells with my clear lights... I can't wait to see how it looks!)

Off to camp!

My baby boy went off to school camp on Wednesday.



Mr Independent. He wouldn't let us help him!










And what I slaved over a hot shopping centre to buy. A raw silk black and white Leona Edminston designs dress, with a black crop cardi, and my drop side kitten heels. I looked a million bucks, and felt a million more.



DH and I spent Thursday night at the Novatel in Brisbane. We had dinner at "our" special place, and desert in the hotel room.

When the ladies at the reception desk found out that the reason for our stay was our anniversary, the sent up a cheese platter, and a card wishing us a happy anniversary. It was very sweet.

DS came home today, all sunburned (I did send along sunscreen, I doubt it was used looking at the burn he got) tired, and happy to see us. We were delighted to see him too. Our baby is home!!

Gulp. Here they are!

Not for long, I think... I am having second thoughts as I post this.

Sometime in 2003 - 2004, pretty close to my high weight. My ass, gut and thighs were GIGANTIC. Not to mention the tits that were the size of my HEAD.



And now. Sad deflated breasts, and hang-y thighs. Other than that, I look pretty dammed good for someone who has lost the sort of weight I have.




Yes, well, apparently the photos of me were PORN. And PhotoBucket doesn't approve of porn. Who'd have thought? Me a porn star!!

Hoy crap! It came!!

The cheque finally came! I almost fainted! I had given up hope, and was already thinking about the very strongly worded email I was going to send. But it came!!

I banked that sucker the second it came in.

Was the whole shebang worth what I was paid? Yes and no. I think I would have helped at least a few people. Inspired someone. But I really did lay myself bare, and as a result I copped quite a bit of abuse. No amount of money is going to make up for that. But knowing I helped someone. Anyone, makes it worth it.

Would I do it again? Maybe not. I don't know. Maybe in a couple of months I will think differently, but for now, I don't think I would do it again.

Something interesting I did find on an old hard drive today was a photo of me, nude at pretty darn close to my highest weight. After I found that, I stripped off, and took a photo of me now. Holy crap AGAIN!! I can't believe that I was that big. But I must have been. It was me. Wasn't it?

If I was braver, I would post the tits out nudie shots, because it really is a fantastic illustration of just how much I have lost. I will think about it.

BMI - In photos

I thought this was very cool. It catalogues women, and their BMI's. Some of the women who are "overweight" look normal to me. And some of the "normal" look underweight.

I wonder if that has something to do with the fact that we are fatter as a society than we ever were, and "overweight" looks normal to us?

Anyway, the link;

BMI in photos

What the fuck?

I got told *again* that I am ugly. For the love of God people. I don't fucking care!

If I was that butt ugly that I wasn't getting any penis, or that I scared small children, or made old ladies faint, maybe I would.

But I honestly don't give a flying fuck that I am not "Hollywood" beautiful! It doesn't hurt to be told that by a faceless stranger on the internet. Someone who is so consumed with jealousy that they are firing off the only insult that they think will work.

You are wasting your time numb nuts.

I dare you to post your photo so we can see how classically beautiful you are. I bet you don't.

Home again, home again

Jigity jig.


We took DS's cousin home last night. He was missing his family, and I was missing my privacy. The child seriously doesn't know what a closed door is.

Anyway, we have to get DS ready for camp on Wednesday. Yes, that is right, he will be back at school after the holidays for 2 whole days before going off to a school camp. I think I will enjoy some "me" time after the holidays.

I plan on dropping him off, and seeing the camp bus off, then shopping all day on Wednesday.

DH and I will be going out to dinner on Thursday, and staying at the Royal on the Park again (it's our 10th anniversary on the 13th of December, we are celebrating a bit early, but we won't get time closer to the date)

I hit the Clinique counter this week, and brought a new face of summer make up.



Almost makeup foundation in very fair, colour Surge eye shadow in beige shimmer and plum (I know!! Plum? But it looks great) Cream shaper for eyes (eyeliner) in brown sugar, and naturally glossy mascara in jet black. And finally, colour surge lippy in pink bamboo. Over all, the look is very natural! I love it!!

The consultant showed me a khaki eye shadow that I wasn't quite sure of, but I think I will go back for it. The plum is something I never thought I would like, let alone LOVE, and if she was right about that.... And I will need a slightly more dramatic eye colour for night time, so, maybe I just have to jump out of my comfort zone of browns and neutrals.