Holy COW!

Do we all realise that we have only just over 12 weeks to Christmas?

That means my birthday is just around the corner. I am not sure I am ready to turn 27. Because 28 becomes 29. 29 becomes 30 and so on. I feel like I wasted my 20's with my obesity, and to a lesser extent, I lost my young adulthood to parenting DS. I feel like I am just starting to enjoy being young and alive.

I know getting older is not the end of the world. I only have to look at my husband who is 13 years my senior (or 14 depending on the time of the year) to see that life really does start at 40. Why does it still look scary?

The only thing I can think of, is that getting older means I have to grow up.

Maybe it means that despite having given birth at barley 16, getting married 11 weeks after my 17th birthday, and "growing up" as a result, I was still immature (and I am sure I was, and still am)

Does finally realising that I know nothing mean I really am growing up? Maturing? Shit. I was planning on staying 15 mentally forever.

As grown up as I get, I cannot imagine my shoe fetish getting any better. No. Can't see that happening. It can only get worse. Much worse.