Alternate rules after WLS

Oh, my! I almost wet my pants laughing (sign of a weak bladder, or laughing too hard - you decide)

Alternate rules after WLS
1. Assume you are different, and what works for the successful people doesn’t or won’t work for you.

2. Make excuses. For everything. Tell everyone you know how your predicament isn’t your fault.

3. Don’t exercise. You are a busy person and don’t have time. Besides, you hate it.

4. End every excuse-filled sentence with “I must be doing something right, I’m still losing weight.”

5. Test the limits of your surgery. Overeat. Graze.

6. Eat sugar. You can get used to a little nausea.

7. Eat bread, rice, potatoes & pasta. You shouldn’t have to deprive yourself of anything.

8. Fall for the packaging and advertising gimmicks. “All natural” means it’s good for me, right?

9. Whine. Think and talk about all the things you have to give up. Dwell on them.

10. Take the cheapest vitamins you can find. Stop taking them after a year because you are tired of the routine.

11. Don’t follow any advice or directions from your surgeon or anyone else. You know best.

12. Eat that holiday candy. It would be a shame for it to go to waste.

13. Don’t use your pouch. Try diet pills instead.

14. Forget protein. It tastes bad. Bring on the sandwiches!

15. Don’t educate yourself. Just follow your doctors blindly.

16. Drink soda. Preferably with meals. It’s just too hard not to drink something for that half hour three times a day.

17. Smoke. You’re an adult and you have that right.

18. Eat everything offered to you when visiting others. You wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings.

19. Drink alcohol. Daily. You have earned the right to enjoy yourself.

20. Be content with losing 50% of your excess. Losing the other 50% is too much work, and you didn’t do this to have to be on a diet for the rest of your life.

I can't take credit for writing it. I found it here